Anxiety and Counselling

What is anxiety?

Anxiety can show up as a racing heartbeat, restless thoughts, difficulty speaking, an upset stomach, or a desire to run away. Sometimes it can be hard to breathe or even think when anxiety shows up, let alone act effectively. A lot of us want to avoid feelings of anxiety, fear, or stress, yet cannot seem to escape from them.

The mechanics of anxiety involve our nervous system, particularly when our 'sympathetic nervous system' is chronically activated to keep us alert, energized, and on the lookout for threats. While this can be lifesaving if we are in danger, anxiety can become distressing in itself if we want to calm down enough to sleep, write an exam, or enjoy life. This can happen when a part of our brain is aware of a social, emotional, or past threat, preventing us from naturally winding down or feeling calm.

Despite the discomfort of anxiety, this kind of stress is a normal way that our brain tries to keep us safe and alert when something we value may be at risk. Even though most of us are familiar with the experience of anxiety getting 'too big' or 'too intense', this inner alarm bell is crucial to pay attention to. While we may need to give anxiety some guardrails so it can do its job without overwhelming us, remembering its protective purpose can transform how we relate to this part of ourselves.

When should I seek support for anxiety?

Anxiety is at best uncomfortable, but feeling anxious or stressed from time to time is part of being human in an unpredictable world. It becomes a concern when something has shaped our anxiety so that it is chronic, out of context, or disruptive to our lives.

Feeling chronically anxious

Chronic anxiety takes a toll on our minds, leaving us in a state of fear and apprehension that can limit our ability to be creative, explore our world, interact with others, and problem-solve effectively. Ongoing stress also impacts our bodies, as being in ‘alarm mode’ is a body-based reality. As mental health professionals historically focused on our thoughts and behaviours, people’s bodies have often been ignored when it came to assessing and treating anxiety.

Mismatched context

When anxiety is out of context, this means that the stressful sensations, emotions, thoughts, and behaviours being experienced do not match the environment around you. Experiencing anxiety makes sense if a bear is chasing you, but if you’re trying to drive your car on a familiar street, it can become unhelpful. Out-of-context anxiety might look like a phobia of something harmless that reminds you of a previous incident, or it might be felt as an underlying state of apprehension or unease that is difficult or impossible to soothe.

Disrupted life

Usually, people seek support for anxiety when it starts to disrupt their life in significant ways. Maybe it keeps them from living into their values, impedes their friendships, or restrains how freely they can engage with the world around them. Even if something good has just happened, anxiety is quick to show up and steal the spotlight. When we cannot regularly settle into a mode where we can play, rest, reflect, and dream, life becomes stifled and our natural capacity for resiliency is compromised.

Symptoms

Consider if some of the following possible symptoms of anxiety feel relatable:

Physical symptoms:
- Cardiovascular: pounding heart or racing heartbeat
- Respiratory: feeling short of breath, like you cannot get enough air, or like it is hard to breathe
- Neurological: Shakiness, muscle twitching, feeling dizzy, tingling or numbness
- Other: Sweating, fatigue, muscle tension, nausea, or headaches
Emotional and mental symptoms:
- Panic attacks
- Feeling unreal or foggy
- Feeling shy and anxious around other people
- Difficulty concentrating
- Feeling on edge, stressed, or afraid
- Obsessive or intrusive thoughts
- Worrying, sense of impending doom
- Often criticizing yourself or others
- Irritability
- Avoidance of what is uncomfortable

Coping with any one of these items can be so difficult, especially if you feel like nothing is helping or that you are alone. This list is not for diagnosis, simply for reflection as you explore if there may be a concern here. It is crucial to consult a medical doctor when you notice symptoms of physical or mental illness.

Anxiety about anxiety

When our experience of anxiety becomes chronic, overwhelming, or we feel embarrassed about it, overtime the symptoms of anxiety can become what we fear. While anxiety usually is a sign of a deeper fear or underlying issue, we can get focused on the symptom instead of trying to address the root cause. When this happens, we often try to do everything in our power to prevent anxiety from being felt. This can look like avoiding situations where our anxiety tends to show up, constantly trying to self-soothe, and generally feeling more restrained while also more stressed.

This dynamic is very normal but can feel like an endless cycle. Turning to face anxiety and slowly explore what is at its core can feel terrifying. We help people explore where they want to start with this, what pacing is best, and what they need to feel safe and resourced enough before doing this work.

Anxiety and hope

We approach anxiety as a part of us with a vital role, as it aims to keep us safe from harm. Building on that foundation, we work to help support, redirect, and offer healing to this anxious part so it can do its job well without overwhelming you. This approach allows us to undo message of shame and help you step out of chronic anxiety.

We have worked with individuals, healthcare staff, and organizations facing ongoing issues with anxiety. These experiences have shown us that as humans, we have a great capacity built into our brains and bodies for healing, relief from symptoms, and the experience of freedom. With evidence-based therapeutic approaches, a counsellor can create a practical plan to help you work with your body's nervous system, anxiety patterns, and address underlying issues. Counselling for anxiety can offer you a place to start and find what you need.

If you feel anxious about counselling itself, that may be a great place to start with your counsellor.